


Lingering in Shadows

by deviant_SnK_Kira



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Reader is psychic, Reader-Insert, and a ghost, to help...not hinder, who possesses the blonde coconut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:36:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7727239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deviant_SnK_Kira/pseuds/deviant_SnK_Kira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You used to be a soldier in the Survey Corps...until you died</p><p>After years of watching titans roam the forest your amulet is picked up by a blonde soldier of the very same military branch you used to fight for. Now you must adjust to "life" among strangers as you guide young Armin's future...occasionally by possessing the boy to fight or share your knowledge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start of Something Strange

~I never really understood why things turned out this way. I of all people could have avoided it...I had seen it coming days ago, but no matter what I did it seemed like it was always going to end the same. And so it did...exactly like I had seen. I guess a person really can’t change their fate.~

 

The Survey Corps...the one place that I felt was where I belonged. No matter the risk I was always driven to fight for our world and the hope that one day we would be free to explore the open land beyond these hideous walls. I had hoped that I could make a difference, if even in just the smallest ways, but I guess some things take too long for us to accomplish in my lifetime. 

My comrades had trained just as hard as me, but all around me I watched as they were torn apart or swallowed whole. I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to run down my cheeks to form a line of skin amid the blood running down my face. I couldn’t remember what happened, just that at some point I had tried to get to a titan before my closest friend was stomped on. 

The next thing I knew I was pushing myself to my feet and struggled to get to the nearest tree without getting caught by the giants that surrounded me. Everywhere I looked all I could see what death; my squad leader was to my left her neck clearly broken as she hung from a branch and there...I think that is--was--my commander half crushed in a titan’s fist.

I heard a branch give way beside me and turned just in time to see a titan--a damn variant by the looks of it--reaching out for me. 

Just my luck...I thought as the monster grabbed me. I couldn’t even bring myself to fight or flee, too dizzy and weak from blood loss to care anymore.

I glared at the figure before me coldly, willing it understand that even though I couldn’t fight it...I was in no way accepting of my coming demise. 

I will hate you for all eternity...even if I die here...I gripped the necklace I always wore, a gift from my mother as a child meant to protect me. 

I wasn’t stupid...I knew it wouldn’t save me from anything. My whole life I had seen things...visions of what was to come. I had seen the deaths of friends days before they happened, some I could prevent...others I was forced to watch through blurry, tear-filled eyes. Hell, I had seen this…my defeat...eight days ago...even tried to stop it by avoiding the places that I had seen me die. Every time though I would see the same death in a new part of the forest. 

Now, even as I felt the teeth bite into my legs, ripping a scream from my lungs, I felt no fear...already at an odd sort of peace with dying this way. Knowing as I did that no one would find me and that I would fade into nothingness as all the others before me. 

I was okay with that...so long as something good would one day come from all of our effort. That someday humanity would be truly free again. 

My hand tightened around the silver chain that held the amulet--a small locket that held a picture of me in a meadow the other side a picture from an old book of a cliffside overlooking the sea. My mother had searched for years for that image...something for me to look at remember why I fought so hard. 

One day...I will see that cliffside...that ocean...even if it’s in my eternal sleep…

The titan bite into my torso this time...I felt my eyes slide shut as I passed out. My heart began slowing as I felt my the chain break from the force of my grip and as I faded I felt it slide from my hand to land somewhere below. 

To be left behind...forgotten as we would be...a hundred and thirty seven soldiers of the Survey Corps. Doomed to remain nameless amid the thousands that have died over the years, our families would never know how we died...just that we had and they would never see us again. 

Then one day, they too would die and it would be like we never existed.

But I was okay with that...because I had fought. I hadn’t just given up and waited for death. I had spent eleven years fighting the titans beyond the walls...eleven years doing something with meaning...and I die now just short of my twenty-seventh birthday still hoping for our freedom.

…

~But then...maybe I had to fall so that I could do something far more meaningful than even I could predict. It’s just a shame though, that in order to do so much for them, I had to die...~

…

~Twenty Years Later~

Man this is boring...trees...titans...rain...wind…more titans...and-- 

Was that a shadow? Too small to be a titan...a person? 

I searched the forest, eyes piercing the darkness in hopes of seeing someone. It had been so very long since the Survey Corps had been to this part of the forest. I was beginning to fear that the titans had finally won the war against humanity. 

I glanced behind me at the tarnished locket hanging off a broken branch of a small tree. The only thing keeping me here...allowing me to see the world, but no longer be a part of it. A lingering presence that was could not interact in any way. Cursed to remain in the shadows of the trees, my only company the occasional passing wildlife or titan--which make for horrible company since the former avoid me as if I was a living being the latter oblivious to my presence.

There...another shadow, definitely human, too.

I waited, hoping to see them at least for a second...and was startled to find myself staring at a small blonde girl. She was looking around like someone was supposed to be with her and jumped slightly when three more figures landed behind her. One of them, a brunette girl, slung her arm around the blonde with a grin while the other two, both boys--one also blonde the other with two-toned hair--walked around a bit talking quietly.

“So, why did Captain Levi have us come over here? There aren’t any titans or anything of interest,” the boy with both blonde and brunette hair asked to no one in particular.

“Who cares...at least my precious goddess here doesn’t have to fight those monsters.”

Goddess? I walked over to the small group, watching in amusement as the girl and her “goddess” tensed slightly and glanced around nervously.

“Something wrong, Christa?” The blonde boy asked worriedly.

Christa shook her head, still looking around, “Just feels like something is watching us. Right, Ymir?”

The other girl lowered her head slightly, but otherwise didn’t react. The boys stared a moment before shrugging and scanning the trees for signs of titans. It was several quiet minutes later that I looked up to see a column of green smoke rise in the sky and all four soldiers--after having studied them closely I realized they were all pretty fresh out of training, poor things--turned to move back into the forest towards the signal.

Just before they left I glanced at the locket and back to the soldiers, half willing one of them to see it. Shockingly, the blonde boy did just that...casting his blue eyes along the meadow one last time, stopping suddenly on the small glint of silver. 

He walked up to the tree as I followed curiously, Is he going to take it? Please...please little blonde mushroom...take it with you. I need you to take it...get me out of this wretched forest.

The blonde had just begun to reach out for it when a voice called out to him, “Hey, Armin, you coming?”

“Y-yeah, Jean...just a second,” He stared at the necklace a second longer, glancing over his shoulder at the boy waiting for him on a branch, before quickly snatching the chain and stuffing it into the pocket of his jacket.

I beamed at him, even though he obviously wouldn’t know it, and ran after him as he rejoined his friends. A few minutes passed and then suddenly I was back right where I belonged...with the Survey Corps again--albeit not exactly how I had hoped to be, but I’d take what I could get.

I wasn’t sure why I had been left behind...I didn’t think any of the other soldiers had stayed like me, but then maybe it had to do with my gift. For as I looked at each face, I recognized several...and not from past encounters as a living human, but as a face amid the countless that I seen die in my visions.

This is why I remained...

Not to be forgotten…

But to do something that no other could…

I would help this people...my fellow soldiers, even in death...I would do what I could through Armin to continue my fight for humanity against the titans.

 

~Once a soldier...always a soldier. Death will not stop me...I will always fight that which tries to suppress us. I will nothing stand in the way of humanity’s freedom, no matter the cost. For I am a soldier of the Survey Corps...I willingly offered my heart for humanity...and I will do so for as long as I exist.~


	2. Comrades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my...I finally updated after two years! 
> 
> A sincere thank you to [bro342](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bro342/pseuds/bro342) for getting me some motivation to continue this. I've been wanting to and just wasn't sure where to go next, but I decided to make myself update for you. ^^

_~It’s an odd feeling...being surrounded by people. Yet knowing you’re completely alone. Not because they don’t like you...or because you’re too different to connect with them on some level. But because you no longer exist. At least not in their world. The dead that haunt the fields (or mess hall in my case) are part of a parallel world, sharing the same sights, yet forever divided.~_

_Man...I wish they could hear me. Just once. Is that too much to ask? ___

__I had followed my necklace and the blonde soldier to the Headquarters, relieved to see the faces had changed, but HQ itself was exactly the same. It didn’t take long to notice that my new “body” was always surrounded by the same two soldiers. One black-haired girl that hardly ever spoke and a brunette whose voice was always too loud._ _

__Armin had become my lifeline, my purpose, and my only source of entertainment. He was a bonafide genius...if he had any sort of self-confidence at least. He would get this look in his eyes, like he knew exactly what needed to be done, but then he’d stay silent. Afraid of his idea being the cause of disaster._ _

__Foolish idea, really. Sure, something bad could happen, but in silence, he risks even more. And so, I decided my mission in this life _(unlife?)_ would be to make Armin realize just how much worth he had as a soldier. To that end, I started trying to make others aware of my presence._ _

__I started small, trying to touch a table and not go through it. After a couple weeks, I finally managed to feel the wood beneath my fingertips and spent the rest of the day grinning and singing, relieved for the first time in twenty years that no one would be the wiser._ _

__Today, I had a new goal in mind. Making someone hear me. _But who...maybe it should be someone that feels something is off? Might be easier if they are naturally inclined to sense the parallel world?__ _

__Looking around the yard, you scanned the soldiers working in the sun. Jean, Eren, Connie, Sasha...most of the ones you spotted never reacted to your presence. Then you saw Ymir._ _

__You remembered the first day you saw her, and how she tried to pretend nothing was wrong. In fact, you remembered her and the blonde girl had reacted the same way. Both sensing you near them, but unaware of what you were._ _

__A moment later, you saw the second girl, Christa, come running up beside Ymir. _Perfect.__ _

__Walking up to them, you took a deep breath, then spoke, “Christa?”_ _

__The blonde turned to her left, Ymir mimicking the action. They stared at the open space where you stood, then looked at each other curiously._ _

__Smiling you realized she, no they, must have heard you. Walking in a slow circle around them, you continued speaking, “Christa and Ymir, right?” Your grin widened as you watched their eyes follow you despite them not being able to see you._ _

__“You hear that too, right Ymir?” Christa’s voice was nervous, as if unsure if she should be saying anything._ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__Christa continued looking around, “It sounded like someone said our names...but I don’t see anyone?”_ _

__Pausing behind them, you leaned in close, “Behind you.”_ _

__Both spun around, eyes widening. They stayed frozen for a moment until Bertholdt walked over, “You guys okay?”_ _

__“Yeah...just...thought we heard someone…” Christa trailed off as you impulsively reached one finger out to her shoulder. She jumped as soon as your fingertip touched her._ _

__“Christa?” Ymir’s face showed concern the blonde remained unmoving. Finally, she blinked and seemed to shake herself awake, her blue eyes dropping to her shoulder where you had touched her._ _

___So...they_ can _hear me! And they can feel me!__ _

__Giddy with relief and joy, you ran over to Eren, hoping Armin would be close by like usual. Sure enough, as you neared the rage-filled titan shifter, you heard Armin’s cheerful laugh. Following the boy around HQ the rest of the day, you tried to think of a what to do that would help him...and help you continue your fight against the titans._ _

__That night, as the soldiers all slept, it came to you. As you sat on the floor beside Armin’s bed, your back turned to the sleeping cadet, you saw the newest commander riding his horse on a wide field. As he rode forward, you could see the titans around him when one suddenly appeared right in front of him and bite into his arm._ _

___Not another commander...and this one seems like he’ll be able to really accomplish something too._ _ _

__You looked over your shoulder at Armin and sighed, unsure of how best to act. So, you reached out one hand, twisting to face the boy as you did so. With your mind focused on how to help, your touch had an unexpected result._ _

__Armin woke, sleepy blue eyes snapping open, and locking straight onto (e/c) eyes. Surprised, you simply stared, confusion filling your mind as you tried to figure out if he could see you or not. And with the increasingly startled look in his eyes, you were pretty sure he could._ _

__“Who are you?”_ _

__“You…” Armin’s soft voice had confirmed your growing suspicion, “you can see me? I’ve tried getting your attention before and you didn’t--” as you spoke Armin had shifted slightly, the movement revealing a familiar locket grasped tightly in his left hand. “My necklace…”_ _

__Armin glanced down at his hand, fingers loosening enough for the soft moonlight to land on the metal. He was quiet a minute as thoughts clearly swirled through his mind, trying to puzzle out the mystery that was your presence._ _

__Finally, he slowly stood up and walked as quietly as possible out the door, obviously trusting you to follow. As the two of you walked down the corridor to the mess hall you tried to think of how to explain._ _

__Once Armin had ensured no one was inside, he closed the mess hall doors and turned to you, waiting silently._ _

__Instinct told you what to do since your mind had decided to be useless. You stretched one arm out and tugged the boy forward, ignoring the way he tensed, and leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. Focusing on your life, you hoped he would see your memories, and when he gasped, you knew it had worked._ _

__ Memories flooded Armin’s mind..you in the Training Corps, the night you enlisted in the Survey Corps, your first expedition and fight with a titan. Eventually, you let him see the final expedition ...the day you died.  _ _

__ He saw through your eyes the day a hundred and thirty seven soldiers lost to the titans, the day your commander was crushed by a titan and eaten, the moment you had to accept your inability to fight despite not accepting death. He felt the teeth sink into your flesh, felt your life slip through your fingers just like the locket he still held in his now.  _ _

__ Then he watched as you sat in the forest, alone for twenty years, until finally he and his friends stumbled across your clearing, unaware that so many had died there all those years earlier.  _ _

__When the memories stopped, Armin stood with tear-filled eyes before speaking, “You’ve been here ever since I brought this back?” Armin held up the locket, the chain swinging gently from the movement._ _

__You nodded, “I’m not ready to stop fighting, Armin. I can help you. I can make you stronger, I can make you realize just how much your worth. You’re smart...smarter than a lot of people I’ve ever known. I’ve seen the look in your eyes; you think you’re a liability. You’re not. I know liabilities...you’re far from being one yourself. Let me help you...help your friends...the Survey Corps. Please.”_ _

__Armin thought a moment, his eyes showing he didn’t believe your opinion of him, but understanding your need to fight. And so his eyes filled with determination as he nodded._ _


	3. The Gathering

Armin got used to your presence a lot faster than you expected him to. The first day, he was constantly looking at you, watching you as you milled about the other cadets without them knowing. Most of the time he looked like he wanted to laugh, but everytime his mouth would start to open, Mikasa or Eren would ask if he was okay or if something was bothering him.

You found it quite funny every time, as he suddenly remembered that no one knew about you and that he must look at least a little crazy. The blonde would start blushing and stuttering an excuse that had you smirking at him...then laughing at the friends concerned looks. Armin would discretely glare at you when he heard you start laughing. 

It wasn’t long though until he adapted to ignoring you masterfully when the Corps were around. He settled into the reality of having a spirit following him as if it was destined. He almost convinced you that he was oblivious to you a few times as you tried to get some sort of reaction from him. Nothing worked...except the occasional brush of your finger across his cheek, but you were pretty sure that was just because you were either right behind him so he couldn’t see you or leaning so close you could practically kiss him.

It was almost disappointing that he wouldn’t react now. But you decided it was better than the poor kid being overly nervous all the time and drawing attention to himself. 

Dawn found you sitting along the edge of the HQ roof, feet swinging slightly as you watched the sun sluggishly rise higher. You wished something would happen soon...anything to end the monotonous existence that was daily life among the cadets. 

_Seriously...is it really necessary to clean that much? I know keeping soldiers busy is important...but how do they still have so much cleaning to do everyday?_

Sighing, you decided to walk around and see if anyone was awake yet. Surprisingly, you found Armin and Erwin walking together. Armin seemed surprised that the Commander would want to talk to him, and yet you were simply smiling because at least someone besides his childhood friends recognized his mind for what it was truly worth.

“I apologize for waking you so early, Cadet. I was hoping to get your opinion on something...Hanji and Mike agreed you may be able to provide insight to a current problem we have.”

“A problem, SIr?”

Erwin nodded slowly, his brows furrowing in both annoyance and confusion. “It seems the titan are acting...oddly. And their not abnormals according to Hanji.”

“I...I don’t know if I understand titans enough to help with that. I--”

Erwin’s chuckle stopped Armin’s words, “We were hoping that you would have an idea for drawing them away from the area.”

“Oh…”

Erwin opened the door to the mess hall and waved Armin inside. He followed the blonde and you eyed him in defeat when he pulled the door closed...through your body, but as the wood passed halfway through you, he seemed to pause a moment, as if noticing that something wasn’t right.

You looked at the door, realizing that he had stopped when it was in line with your heart. He glanced behind him, eyes narrowed when his hand actually tugged the door open slightly. It almost seemed like he knew there was something in the doorway...so you took a chance and stepped into the door so it was once again through your heart, only for him to push it again. Curious, you stepped fully into the room. Erwin frowned, head shaking slightly as he pushed the door closed. 

_That was…weird._

“Oi...Erwin.”

Levi watched the Commander with a bored, but concerned look as the man joined him and Hanji at a table. Mike had his head tilted to the side, as if wondering if he should be worried too. Armin just stared at you over the man’s shoulder...a very slight frown and glare in place before he tore his eyes from you.

Walking up to the little blonde, you leaned into his side, whispering in his ear, “Don’t judge me...you would get bored too.”

Armin lowered his head in silent greeting to the two superiors, though you knew he was just hiding a smile. 

“So…” Hanji drew out the word slightly, an amused grin forming, “did you decide you really like the old wood or something?”

Erwin glanced at her, his frown deepening. After a moment of silence, Hanji’s grin grew wider, but Erwin decided to ignore her, “Why don’t you just explain to Armin what the titans are doing.”

“Sure, sure,” Hanji turned to the boy, her face falling blank. “We noticed this last time we were beyond the walls, but there seems to be a number of titans gathering in the forest. Normally, we wouldn’t be too worried about it, but the number keeps growing. We’ve sent men out a few times to see, and every time they come back with a higher count.”

“Weirder still is they don’t seem to concerned with the men either,” Mike’s low voice interrupted.

“Is...isn’t that a good thing? If they don’t react to us, then our job is easier right?”

Erwin nodded, “It would be, except the last men to check they returned injured. It seems the titans...around forty now...have started attacking again.”

Hanji’s eyes widened in excitement, “But! They still don’t care about the men approaching them...they only attack when the soldiers start leaving. Isn’t it fascinating?!” Hanji continued mumbling theories, her voice dropping lower as she tried to puzzle out the meaning. 

Armin just grew more nervous, though, “I still don’t see how I can help.”

Levi looked at the cadet, “you came up with the idea to put everyone on the wall in Trost, right? So think of a way to deal with the things in the forest before they get even more out of hand.”

Armin looked between the four superiors in the room. Erwin waited patiently, Hanji still muttered under her breath, while Mike and Levi both just stared at him. Leaning against Armin, you thought about the titans...trying to remember if you ever heard of them gathering like this. 

“Where in the forest?” Armin’s question surprised you, not entirely sure why that mattered. Erwin seemed to be just as confused, but humored him anyway. 

“The clearing? On the southeast edge? Why there?” The others all watched Armin as he spoke to himself. “I was there on the last expedition...there was nothing…” Armin’s eyes dropped to stare at the cord resting against his chest when he realized the titans were in the same clearing that he had found your necklace. 

Sitting beside him, you followed his gaze to the locket, your own eyes widening when you realized they were in your clearing. 

Knowing the others wouldn’t hear you, you spoke to Armin, “why would they gather there? They’ve passed through that clearing a million times while I was there...they never gathered…”

Is it because I’m gone? No...that wouldn’t make any sense...not unless…”

“Armin...I need to use you. I need to speak through you. Can you let me do that?”

Armin took a deep breath, nodding on the exhale. To the others, he would have seemed to be thinking through options, maybe settling on the most likely scenario. To you, he was agreeing to let himself literally become your body...at least for now.

Reaching out, you placed one hand on the back of his head, focusing on the need to _be_ Armin. 

Looking up to Erwin, Armin’s head turning to do the same, you spoke using Armin’s voice, “How close can we get to the area without them turning on us?”

Mike eyed Armin oddly, “a few meters.”

“I need to see it for myself. I can’t think of a plan without knowing first-hand what the area looks like. Can I go with the next scouting party?”

Erwin looked into your (Armin’s) eyes in surprise, “They’ll attack when you go to leave. Are you sure?” When you nodded, he continued, “very well. Levi, get a few men and take Armin to the clearing. And be careful.”

Levi glanced from you to Erwin then sighed, “Yes, sir.”

Removing your head from Armin, you nodded to him, “Sorry...but I have to see it. I’ll protect you though. I won’t let them hurt you. I promise.”

Armin stood, his eyes meeting yours as he slowly walked out of the room behind the others. As soon as he was sure they were out of earshot, he looked at you, “They’re doing that because of you, aren’t they? Because you aren’t there anymore.”

“I think so.”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded, “Then let’s go find out.”

Neither of you noticed the figure leaning around the corner watching Armin seemingly speaking to himself. Mike inhaled deeply, “he smells normal now.” But earlier...he smelled...different…


End file.
